See... and then nights like tonight... you really do want to move to Denver. You really do want to start over. Start fresh. Right now it would be okay if tomorrow you drove to the airport and left California. Left school, left work, left your friends, left your apartment, left your Jeep, left your bills, left your stuff, left your life. Now that your credit card is nearly paid off, the idea isn't so far-fetched. You've just got two more semesters of college and the gates open, my friend. Here's to hoping we made it that long, Future Me. Because right now you're thinking you need the Denver Plan. You need it the way drifting shipwreck survivors need to see dry land.
Ctrl A, Crtl X, Ctrl N, Ctrl V.
Just like that you'll be at square one. Older, wiser... Fresh.
It makes sense that you'd feel this way now. Heartbreak is a killer. You've felt your share of it, shy boy, because you're still too timid. Not shy, no. You'd hardly call yourself shy these days, having broken out of that shell over the years. But you're reserved. No. Not too much. You flirt. Everyone flirts. You don't flirt the right way. Dropping hints and teasing her... Bryce called it "planting seeds" and that's something you don't do. Not hardly at all, really. You don't feel unique anymore because a lot of guys experience the friendship trap syndrome. So it's not cool to be a lot of girls' closest guy friend. Because you probably aren't. It's frustrating when you like a girl. It's so frustrating.
Fuck that. Stop talking about it.
You don't want to remember heartbreaks.
But you write this out and you speak your mind because it feels good to let go. And now you're going to get high and eat a bowl of frosted flakes and just try to step back. Be happy you're alive. You feel like you're in a low point in your life right now, it's been feeling a little lackluster around these parts, but soon that'll go away. School's going to be a bitch but it'll be a new adventure. Your credit is looking much better. You have food in the fridge. So mostly everything is good. Just keep your head up, You. Someday you'll look back on this part of your life and marvel at the sort of stuff you used to let bother you. Right now you're reading this and thinking about a hundred other things you stressed out about since then. It's all a part of life. Nothing is consistently good forever. Emotions fluctuate. You have to adapt.
Ebb and flow.
Ctrl A, Crtl X, Ctrl N, Ctrl V.
Just like that you'll be at square one. Older, wiser... Fresh.
It makes sense that you'd feel this way now. Heartbreak is a killer. You've felt your share of it, shy boy, because you're still too timid. Not shy, no. You'd hardly call yourself shy these days, having broken out of that shell over the years. But you're reserved. No. Not too much. You flirt. Everyone flirts. You don't flirt the right way. Dropping hints and teasing her... Bryce called it "planting seeds" and that's something you don't do. Not hardly at all, really. You don't feel unique anymore because a lot of guys experience the friendship trap syndrome. So it's not cool to be a lot of girls' closest guy friend. Because you probably aren't. It's frustrating when you like a girl. It's so frustrating.
Fuck that. Stop talking about it.
You don't want to remember heartbreaks.
But you write this out and you speak your mind because it feels good to let go. And now you're going to get high and eat a bowl of frosted flakes and just try to step back. Be happy you're alive. You feel like you're in a low point in your life right now, it's been feeling a little lackluster around these parts, but soon that'll go away. School's going to be a bitch but it'll be a new adventure. Your credit is looking much better. You have food in the fridge. So mostly everything is good. Just keep your head up, You. Someday you'll look back on this part of your life and marvel at the sort of stuff you used to let bother you. Right now you're reading this and thinking about a hundred other things you stressed out about since then. It's all a part of life. Nothing is consistently good forever. Emotions fluctuate. You have to adapt.
Ebb and flow.
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