Of all the things I'll never fully understand, the one part of this life that still bedazzles me is the view of a cloudless night sky full of a million stars. Just millions of them. All sprinkled all over the place. Some of them arranged in shapes. Sparkling lightyears away. Untouchable, these distant stars. Stars at the center of other solar systems in other galaxies. Places we'll never get any closer to than through a telescope lens. Places so far away that they could have died and gone supernova millions of years ago and we still see the light it was casting before it exploded. What does that tell you about your concept of time? To look up at the stars and constantly be looking at the past.
It was warm out tonight and I had to ride me bike back from A'romas, so that's why I had a chance to look up. Even with shorts on I didn't get any goosebumps. I wasn't wearing headphones, so I didn't have Atmosphere rhyming in my ears to distract me from observing the midnight world around me. Other than the constant concern that a cop was going to pull me aside and ask me what I was doing out so late and ask to see inside my backpack because he'd smell pot on my clothes and find the weed and arrest me, I had a pleasant ride. Whenever there weren't any cars around I liked to pretend I was Cillian Murphy in 28 Days Later, but with a bike.
For the record: Someone made me a paper flower and left it in my cubby-hole box at work today. I don't know who made it for me and Michelle was at A'romas and claimed no responsibility--guessing instead that it might have been Sara. Rosa thought maybe Alyssa made it. Michelle thought that was a particularly strange and funny idea, that Alyssa might make that for me, but then I was thinking since I give Alyssa rides after work so often that maybe that's what it was for. Sara giving it to me seems possible, too, because Sara's one of my closest friends there. And then a small part of me thinks it could have been Alisa because I've been trying to get her to go out more and go to the bars with the rest of us after work sometimes, and maybe she'd make that for me because she appreciates that I've been including her and helping her spend time away from her obsessive 40 year old boyfriend.
I went on a roadtrip today with Carissa and lounged on the beach. That's really all there is to it. We smoked, drank, swam, sunbathed, and napped on the shore of the Russian River out by Guerneville. It's nice to get outside and see the natural world every so often. Being at the river on my day off is like completely shedding myself of all the big responsibilities of life. I don't worry about rent or bills. I don't worry about work. I'm not thinking about my Jeep Cherokee. I'm not even thinking about much of anything. Water is such a tranquil element. It's hard not to just lie down on your towel and disappear with the sound of wind rustling the treetops overhead.
On the way home we stopped at Safeway and got chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. Then we made chocolate ganja cookies and watched Shark Week stuff and the movie 28 Days and Danny stopped by with Jenny to buy a ten-sack and I hitched a ride with them because they were heading back toward A'romas. When I got there around 11:00, the night crew was just starting to close and I stuck my head inside to say hello. Turns out they had been super busy and I could see how far behind they were and so I go inside and start to help them close. I'm stoned from being at Carissa's and the idea of cleaning off-the-clock seems like a fun way to spend time I otherwise had no plan for. Plus, Michelle was working and I like making her laugh. And I got that surprise paper flower, too, which made me feel happy and loved, although I don't exactly know by who...
I brought the camera with me to the river. I'm going to go see what I filmed now and probably put together a video. Hopefully all this filming and editing stuff doesn't distract me too much from working on the novel. But maybe that's what I need right now--a whole bunch of hobbies to keep me busy.
It was warm out tonight and I had to ride me bike back from A'romas, so that's why I had a chance to look up. Even with shorts on I didn't get any goosebumps. I wasn't wearing headphones, so I didn't have Atmosphere rhyming in my ears to distract me from observing the midnight world around me. Other than the constant concern that a cop was going to pull me aside and ask me what I was doing out so late and ask to see inside my backpack because he'd smell pot on my clothes and find the weed and arrest me, I had a pleasant ride. Whenever there weren't any cars around I liked to pretend I was Cillian Murphy in 28 Days Later, but with a bike.
For the record: Someone made me a paper flower and left it in my cubby-hole box at work today. I don't know who made it for me and Michelle was at A'romas and claimed no responsibility--guessing instead that it might have been Sara. Rosa thought maybe Alyssa made it. Michelle thought that was a particularly strange and funny idea, that Alyssa might make that for me, but then I was thinking since I give Alyssa rides after work so often that maybe that's what it was for. Sara giving it to me seems possible, too, because Sara's one of my closest friends there. And then a small part of me thinks it could have been Alisa because I've been trying to get her to go out more and go to the bars with the rest of us after work sometimes, and maybe she'd make that for me because she appreciates that I've been including her and helping her spend time away from her obsessive 40 year old boyfriend.
I went on a roadtrip today with Carissa and lounged on the beach. That's really all there is to it. We smoked, drank, swam, sunbathed, and napped on the shore of the Russian River out by Guerneville. It's nice to get outside and see the natural world every so often. Being at the river on my day off is like completely shedding myself of all the big responsibilities of life. I don't worry about rent or bills. I don't worry about work. I'm not thinking about my Jeep Cherokee. I'm not even thinking about much of anything. Water is such a tranquil element. It's hard not to just lie down on your towel and disappear with the sound of wind rustling the treetops overhead.
On the way home we stopped at Safeway and got chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. Then we made chocolate ganja cookies and watched Shark Week stuff and the movie 28 Days and Danny stopped by with Jenny to buy a ten-sack and I hitched a ride with them because they were heading back toward A'romas. When I got there around 11:00, the night crew was just starting to close and I stuck my head inside to say hello. Turns out they had been super busy and I could see how far behind they were and so I go inside and start to help them close. I'm stoned from being at Carissa's and the idea of cleaning off-the-clock seems like a fun way to spend time I otherwise had no plan for. Plus, Michelle was working and I like making her laugh. And I got that surprise paper flower, too, which made me feel happy and loved, although I don't exactly know by who...
I brought the camera with me to the river. I'm going to go see what I filmed now and probably put together a video. Hopefully all this filming and editing stuff doesn't distract me too much from working on the novel. But maybe that's what I need right now--a whole bunch of hobbies to keep me busy.
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